Lullabyes for an Insomniac

I've had alot more energy lately, than I ever did before I was pregnant. Also, alot more fire and courage under my belt.

I keep thinking that this is because I'm developing traits that I will need in order to be a good parent.
I thought that I would approach this pregnancy with fear. And it isn't so. After the nightmare that I was put through when we found out we were pregnant, I just soared. I keep cheering these kids on, and I'm ready to snarl, and get rid of anyone who I see as a threat to them. I expected this from my family, and of course, they also have become over protective, and extremely supportive of the munchkins. However, I expected that I would become somehow meeker, more weak, out of the fear of causing them harm. And instead, I find myself being brave, and strong.
I get excited when I think that for these children, I will be their champion, and not a parent that serves no great purpose.

Growing up, my father was my greatest hero. He taught me everything that I needed to know, to become a great person. To be strong, and have solid character. And even now, I cannot find a human being that I love and respect more. It would be an honor for me, if I could even remotely reach a similar status to my children.

We'll see what happens. I hope you are all doing really well. I'm going to have some amazing fresh cheesecake that my uncle made for me.

( daily twitter )

as I got the tree and the "nativity scene" up. (My husband Ron loves when the moose comes out!)

( Herez picshures! (compliments of my crappy cell phone): )

Thanksgiving was wonderful.

I hope you all had an equally wonderful evening. Let's all be grateful.

Hi there,

I'm new to the community and was wondering if I could get some tips. I've recently learned how to bind books, but I've only made covers using bookcloth and would like to branch out. They're kind of blah. Some of the covers on here are drop dead gorgeous, and I'd love to learn some new techniques.

Does anybody have any suggestions for websites or books with tutorials? I love some of the Japanese paper covers (how do you fasten the paper to a harder backing?) and so many other creative creations. At some point I'd like to use my art as a cover, but I don't know what type of media would work best.

Thanks!

( daily twitter )

( You are about to view content that may only be appropriate for adults. )

Hey guys,

I'm back again, with other stuff I should have already posted. But at least it is being posted before Yule, haha.

I decorated it with all the usual things, like candles, fall leaves and pumpkins. Pictures of some of my cats that I've lost in the past. And a picture of my grandparents, that is sitting in a small ceramic cauldron that my grandmother let me have. And one of just my grandmother. I actually was the one that found her when she died. I had gone to check on her, because we lived across an alley from each other. And when I went to her room, I found her on the floor, and I tried to wake her up, but she was already gone. So I frantically called my parents, it was my mom's mother..and they ran over to the house. The police were called of course, and we found out later that she had, had breast cancer, but was hiding it, and only getting by with the pain, by taking simple Advil. I left her an offering of Reese's Pieces, because she liked candy in general, but she really loved Reese's products. For the cats I left some dry food in the apple dish. And for my pet hermit crab, Herman, that died just a couple weeks before Samhain, I left some dried fruit, next to his shell that I kept. You guys will probably reconize the orange cat figures from my last post, as I put them on there with pictures of Mamerine when he was a kitten.

The the God and Goddess figures I made from jute twine, and I always have them on the altar. I arranged them to show the Goddess in mourning over the God. And a funny thing happend with that. I was in the middle of setting it up, and had gone downstairs to do something, when I came back the Goddess had fallen forward, with her head on his crotch. I didn't think to take a picture, before I set Her back up, but it made me laugh.



( A few closeups )

( daily twitter )

Hi everyone
I am making an artistic book, using the covers of old hard-backed books as my pages (about 10 in all). I will be binding it using one of the methods from Keith Smith’s volume on single pages.
The hard back covers are various sizes, which I want to keep.
Thus suggestions please:
I am thinking that by centring all the pages it will look better artistically, particularly with one of the smallest covers on top with a larger one poking out all the way around when viewed lying flat, however, this will make it difficult to display in the gallery. I am assuming upright with the pages fanned out and the whole thing drooping forward and looking like it’s about to fall over. Thus the other option is to keep the bottom edge of the book even.

Your thoughts appreciated

Made some lunch for the hubby, and will be getting ready to prepare the Thanksgiving dinner with my mom. Something is bugging me,and I can't quite put my finger on it. I guess it'll come out in meditation sooner or later.

Got to see the munchkins yesterday. I was amazed at how clearly I could really see them. The doctor told us that they were in prime condition and very well cared for. I was definitely proud when she said that. They still haven't come out into the world, and we've started off on the right foot. I sing to them, read them stories, talk to them in different languages, and play them the violin. Not to mention that I only put the best food in my mouth.

I only care about these kids now. And this leads me to only focus on my family. As cruel as it sounds, I can tell that it's the truth.

I was watching Sons Of Anarchy last night with my husband, and in one scene Gemma was talking about how God has a job for each of us. And she said "God wants me to be a fierce mother." It seems like a simple sentence. But these were the words that I have searched for, when even my closest of friends ridiculed me for wanting to stay home, and raise my children. I was born to raise my family up, and to protect them. Nothing else matters to me.

Should anyone pose a threat to my children, I will eliminate them. And I know that I have this in me. I've seen it in action before. I don't let anyone fuck with my family, and no one is above my family. I was born this way, and I'll die this way.

I'm not apologizing for it any more. I own this. Whatever I need to do to keep my family together and safe, I will do.

With that said, and out of my system, I wish everyone a good and happy Thanksgiving!

Hello everyone,

I've not posted in a while, since Beltaine I think. And this one is a bit late, but better than never as they say. :)

This was a shrine I put up on October 1st, in honor of my cat Cameron...or Mamerine as I usually called him. He was my cat, like my child, he was my familiar, and we were together always. I watched his birth when I was about 8 years old, and instantly fell in love with him. He had problems with his liver throughout life, and had to be medicated several times. Well there was a last time in the summer of 2004, when he continued to get sicker, and skinnier. I would fix him chicken, and hand feed him, take him outside in the sun in hopes of helping with his condition etc. But on October 1st 2004, my mom and I just couldn't put him through anymore, he had that look in his eyes that animals get when they are ready. He was just so frail, unlike the Mamerine that I had always known. He was sad, and seemed like he could barely move...it was time. So I held him while they put him to sleep, and when I felt his tail go limp I knew he was gone, and doing much better.

The vet asked us if we wanted a special plaque for him, that they would make up, with The Rainbow Bridge, poem, and the date of his death, along with a footprint and a bit of fur. So we got it, and I added a small picture I had taken some time before, with my Izone camera.

It's been five years, and still I think about him nearly everyday. Cry for him most times, but like I am now, and dream about him. I've lost many animals in my life, and I'm sad and miss them all, but I don't think I'll ever get over losing him.

Anyways, on to the shrine. Even when he was alive I collected orange cat things, toys, stuffed animals, figurines and such. So this year, I put up a shrine for him, with browns, that are associated with animal magick. And his plaque and some figurines I've gotten. The cat lying down I got a few years after I lost him, and then one sitting up, I got this past spring in England, when I was visiting my fiance and his family.


( A few more closeups )

Well over a month ago I made a post about the shrine I made for Hestia and Zeus Ktesios. I have other shrines around the house, I'm just lazy about taking and posting pics.

The main household shrine is partly shrine, partly working altar where about 90% of my worship is done. It's an old end table/nightstand that lost it's door a long time ago--right now the shelves are half books and half storage, but I want to get a box to place under it for the storage and distribute the books more evenly. The drawer holds incense, a few candles, my tarot deck and a few other odds and ends.

On top, I've got a glass hurricane in a three-legged stand that hold sand for burning incense. I use a Yankee Candle jar candle as my Hestia flame--I do not keep it lit all of the time, but do try to keep it lit when I'm home.. There is a plate and bowl for offerings and libations, as well as an imitation Wedgewood vase with a Greek scene depicted on it for holding whatever it is I'm going to libate.

The shelves above the shrine is home to stone animals I'm collecting to represent the Theoi (top shelf). It also displays my collection of sand and stones as well as a statuette of Kateri Tekakwitha, who, although She was a Catholic convert, and is in the process of becoming Sainted, I have felt a strong connection to since I was about 10 years old. Although I left the Church almost 20 years ago, I still feel a devotion to Her and do honor Her as a personal Daimon of sorts. The gold-plated leaf is an oak leaf, giving separate honor to Zeus as King of Gods and Men--a reminder to myself that, although I do have personal...relationships for lack of a better word...with some Theoi over others, I must maintain kharis with all of Them.

( daily twitter )

This is the sign-up post for the $15 Level of the December Holiday Exchange Swap.

Signing up for this swap means you will be creating a holiday gift package for your partner totaling US$15 (not including shipping). All packages must also include a holiday greeting. Please try to keep your costs exactly to $15, as we do not want anyone to feel badly if they can only afford a $15 package, but you spent 210. If you'd like to participate in a lower limit swap, the other sign-ups will be posted shortly.

We cannot guarantee in-country shipping this month, so please be willing to ship internationally.

This month, you may sign up for as many swaps as you would like, as long as your TOTAL does not exceed $30. You will need to sign up in each swap sign-up post for the amount you would like to participate in, as different moderators will be pairing up each level.

Sign-ups will continue until NOVEMBER 28 and we will do our best to have partners out by DECEMBER 1. Your ship date for this swap is DECEMBER 31, but keep in mind most of the holiday's our members celebrate will fall before then if you wanted your package to arrive in time for their holiday. Your swap box should be geared towards the upcoming holiday(s) your partner celebrates, and be a reflection of their interests. If you cannot tell what they like based on their LJ, PLEASE contact them via e-mail so you can get to know each other. Please refrain from filling your boxes with items from the Dollar Store or it's equivalent, as we want everyone to receive high quality gifts this season.

All comments are screened. If you have any questions, please add them to the swap announcement post.

LJ Name:
E-mail address:
Your name & mailing address, including country
Willing to ship international: Y/N
What winter holiday(s) do you celebrate? (please include date of holiday):
Is there any holiday you do NOT want to create a gift for?
Do you have any allergies or restricted items you cannot receive?
Is there anything else you would like your partner to know?

This is the sign-up post for the $10 Level of the December Holiday Exchange Swap.

Signing up for this swap means you will be creating a holiday gift package for your partner totaling US$10 (not including shipping). All packages must also include a holiday greeting. Please try to keep your costs exactly to $10, as we do not want anyone to feel badly if they can only afford a $10 package, but you spent $15. If you'd like to participate in a higher or lower limit swap, the other sign-ups will be posted shortly.

We cannot guarantee in-country shipping this month, so please be willing to ship internationally.

This month, you may sign up for as many swaps as you would like, as long as your TOTAL does not exceed $30. You will need to sign up in each swap sign-up post for the amount you would like to participate in, as different moderators will be pairing up each level.

Sign-ups will continue until NOVEMBER 28 and we will do our best to have partners out by DECEMBER 1. Your ship date for this swap is DECEMBER 31, but keep in mind most of the holiday's our members celebrate will fall before then if you wanted your package to arrive in time for their holiday. Your swap box should be geared towards the upcoming holiday(s) your partner celebrates, and be a reflection of their interests. If you cannot tell what they like based on their LJ, PLEASE contact them via e-mail so you can get to know each other. Please refrain from filling your boxes with items from the Dollar Store or it's equivalent, as we want everyone to receive high quality gifts this season.

All comments are screened. If you have any questions, please add them to the swap announcement post.

LJ Name:
E-mail address:
Your name & mailing address, including country
Willing to ship international: Y/N
What winter holiday(s) do you celebrate? (please include date of holiday):
Is there any holiday you do NOT want to create a gift for?
Do you have any allergies or restricted items you cannot receive?
Is there anything else you would like your partner to know?

I'm watching the Food Network. Again.

Ever since I was a child I enjoyed watching my parents cook. I even had my own little stool, where I would stand next to them, and listen as they explained the steps to me. Watching cooking shows is somehow very similar. Ah, I'm grateful to my parents. Along with many difficulties, they managed to teach me what is most important about family.

The munchkins are craving rice pudding. Well, that's my excuse anyway lol. I am getting my ingredients together for my family rice pudding. My mom used to make a huge potful, and then cool them in small bowls all lined up in a row. I would keep coming back throughout the day, and empty out the bowls, until they had to tell me to stop. lol.

After cooking my pudding, I'm going to give myself some serious TLC. I need a pedicure, and I need to wash my hair, and give myself a facial. I am relaxed enough now, that I can focus on being a healthy, and pretty mommy.


Have a great day all.

astroturf! vintage interior design pages


old marquee sign "G"! vintage science book pages

on etsy! & flickr!

It's been a hectic week. The entire family knows that I'm pregnant, but we're keeping it a secret that we're having multiples. Considering we really don't want to talk about that just yet.

I started a little notebook, where I make notes of things that make me anxious. All pertain to the babies. A few pages contains lists for the baby shower, and other pages are lists of questions for me to ask the doctor. This coming week, I should be able to hear their heartbeats. I'm looking forward to that immensely. I have actually surprised myself with the way I'm managing this pregnancy. I watch what I put in my mouth very carefully, and make myself drink milk even when I don't feel like it. I prepare it with chocolate and a straw, the way my parents used to prepare it for me, when I was little. I guess it's comforting for me, and motivates me to drink this huge glass of milk.

I cooked myself a nice veggie "salad". It's healthy and really filling. I spent most of the day crocheting, and working on this blanket that I made too wide, and it's taking forever to finish. I meditated a little bit in the evening, and did some research on c- sections. Some of the things I read horrified me, and I almost had an anxiety attack. I keep thinking that I'm going to have an anxiety attack while I'm getting my c section. I need to realize that there is enough oxygen in the room. I hate being vulnerable and helpless.

I remember my last surgery, and how afraid I was. Even while I was on that cold table strapped in, waiting for the surgeon to come in, I was terrified, but I smiled in the face of my fear, and prayed. And when I woke up almost two hours later, I was kicking and thrashing at the nurses. My dad said that one of the greatest gifts I have, is my strength, and my ability to rear back and get back on my feet as soon as I touch the ground.

I am going to pass that strength to my children. No matter who is against them, no matter what the odds against them, I want them to stand up, and fight back. I was born fighting, and all my life I've fought tooth and nail to get what I want in my life. There is a reason that God put me on this earth to struggle.

And I always come out winning. There is a reason for that. If I give my children anything, it's going to be this. They aren't dying. And all those fucking doctors can kiss my ass. They don't know what the hell they're dealing with.
When I was really depressed an uncle once pulled me to the side and said "We are supermen."

And it takes a little more than a push to knock us down.

( daily twitter )

A great video all you book artists will enjoy!

( daily twitter )

Hi there, everyone! It's been a while since I posted to the group, as I've been lax in taking photos of my various seasonal shrines and working altars, but I've been following along with everyone's work — gorgeous as usual! :) Finally I have some decent pictures of my own to share, as well. Some of them feature a dresser-top "Altar to the Three Realms," the first altar my partner and I created together over this past summer. Other pictures feature a ceramic offering dish that I designed and dedicated to Brigid for use during ritual (otherwise, it sits either on the dresser, or the fireplace mantel downstairs). But most of the photos are dedicated to the prayer beads that I recently started making...


Now, I know that this is a community for awesome, pimped-out altars, but to me, prayer beads serve as a sort of portable, inconspicuous, go-anywhere altar. They create their own kind of sacred space, woven together in a circle that can be entered through touch and movement, and their physical materials — hemp cords, various beads and stones of different shapes and colors, and the metals of charms — work to invoke the energies of the elements and deities to which they are dedicated and consecrated.


( More pictures and discussion behind cut! )





A commitment to peace, justice and truth has continued to play a central role in my spiritual life as I've continued to study and practice Druidry, and so recently I decided to host a give-away of the prayer beads I've been making. Winners of the drawing will receive a complimentary set of prayer beads and a copy of the Peace of the Three Realms meditation to go with them, which talks more in-depth about how to work with the prayer and use the different themes and visualizations to align yourself with the three elements.



If you're interested, there are more details available on my blog, Meadowsweet & Myrrh.

Peace and blessings to all of you!
/|\ Ali

You may have noticed that we skipped over a Full Moon. December is special, as there are TWO full moons - one at the beginning of the month, and one at the end. Usually, we would still run 2 swaps for a double full moon month, but as it's December, we decided to do something different and start our holiday swap early!

Sign-ups will begin on Sunday 22 November and run until Saturday 28 November. There will be THREE SEPARATE SIGN UP POSTS divided by price. We will do our absolute best to get partners out before the 30th, but we might not get to them until later in the week due to the Thanksgiving holiday in the US. You will then have the entire month of December to work on your special swaps, as the ship date for this swap will be 31 December!

For our holiday swap, there will be 3 "levels" you can sign up for (all amounts in USD) - a $5 level, a $10 level, and a $15 level. We will allow you to sign up for more than one swap, as long as your TOTAL does not go over $30 (so if you want, you can do 2 $15 swaps, or 3 $10, or a $15, $10, and a $5, etc.). Each swap should include a holiday greeting card and should reflect your partner's interests as well as the spirit of the holiday season.

ALL PACKAGES MUST HAVE DELIVERY CONFIRMATION when shipping domestically, and you MUST scan/take a picture of your receipt if you are shipping internationally. We will do our best to pair people in-country, but sometimes it's just not possible, so please be willing to ship internationally and make sure you check the list of restricted items for your partner's country.

If you have any questions, this is the post to ask them in!

Also: reminder that we are still looking for some new swap mods for 2010! Don't be shy!

( daily twitter )

( daily twitter )

A few of our current moderators would like to step down (or already have) by the end of 2009, and we are looking for some fresh Swap Mods! Interested parties must be a swapper in GOOD standing (not currently on the late list) and you must have good communication skills. We also would like you to commit yourself to modding at least TWO monthly swaps in 2010. As a Swap Moderator you will be in charge of running sign-ups for your month, assigning partners, posting the shipping hub, and following up with the participants. You do not need to have a swap idea in mind for your month, as we all will be contributing ideas for swaps.

The dates of the full moons for 2010 are as follows:

* January 30: Cold Moon
* February 28: Quickening Moon - Unavailable
* March 30: Storm Moon - Unavailable
* April 28: Wind Moon
* May 27: Flower Moon
* June 26: Strong Sun Moon
* July 26: Blessing Moon
* August 24: Corn Moon
* September 23: Harvest Moon
* October 23: Blood Moon - Unavailable
* November 21: Mourning Moon
* December 21: Long Nights Moon - Unavailable

sign-ups will always begin the week after the prior month's full moon, so please pick a month where you will have some time throughout the month to mod.

Please note that if we do not get more swap moderators we might have to drop down to bi-monthly swaps or even no swaps at all, as all of the current moderators are getting busier and busier with their lives.

We also are in need of a new Membership Moderator, as jenett would like to take some time off. The Membership moderator will be in charge of approving (or denying) new membership requests and will be the contact person if anyone has any questions regarding their pending or denied membership. the membership moderator will NOT be responsible for a monthly swap (as your job will be a monthly job), but if you want to sign up for a month or two, you certainly can!

If you are interested in becoming a swap mod, please respond to this post (all comments are screened) with the following:

LJ name
e-mail address
any modding experience you have
anything else you want us to know
which 2 months in 2010 you are willing to commit yourself to

Please be flexible with your months. If we receive more than one person for each month, we will need to do some shifting. Or if you have no preference to a month, please let us know how many months you would like and we will fit you into the schedule as needed.

Moderator "applications" are going to be accepted until November 30th, so you have some time to think about it and ask any questions you might have.

I slept like a stone. I don't know why people say that. Or maybe I messed up the saying. I think it's - I slept like the dead. But I don't like saying that one. So, I slept like a stone. haha
anyway, husband came home from the shopping, and cleaned the entire house, bought me roses, and put them in a vase with water. He even bought food so that when I wake up at the crack of dawn, I could find food. He's a very thoughtful man, and I really don't know how I would have gotten through these past few months without his support, and love. Not once since the doctors put the pressure on me did he try to force me to make a decision. Even when the appointment was made with the specialist, and I hid out in our apartment, he didn't try to force me to go anywhere.

And now with a new set of concerns and worries, he spoils me rotten, and doesn't complain when I fall asleep instead of cleaning the house. So I'm lucky. I plan on cooking him a nice old school Greek dinner tonight. The only thing that bugs me is the way my sleep schedule is right now. I fall asleep around six in the evening, and wake up around five in the morning. No one wakes up at five in this house. So I have to dilly dally until people start waking up. I'm just watching The Sopranos, and then going to call my cousin overseas, and waste some time.

I hope the rest of you have a great day as well. Over and out.

( daily twitter )

Today has been a pretty good, and relaxing day. The hubby is off today, so I always feel better when he's home. I took advantage of his going grocery shopping, and played some music on my violin for the munchkins. I am thinking of learning to play the guitar, considering that I already have a great brand new guitar that I never play. One of these kids is going to be musically inclined. I can feel it.

I'm sleepy, and tired. I could use a nice warm shower, and then take a little nap. Was considering staying awake and maybe going to a movie with the husband, but I realized the last time that we went, that those seats are now getting pretty uncomfortable for me. But everything is good.

I hope you are all having a great evening.

( daily twitter )

You alone are what my soul needs
You know the thirst is taking over
Hardly breathe, I'm in urgent need
You know the thirst is taking over

The thirst is taking over

Hold me down, hold me down
Drip it on my tongue
And my convulsions stop
Thirst for love, thirst for your love
I could swallow your beauty whole



Running out, times running out
Searching for the one who can conquer me
I'm going to scream aloud, throw it down
Crash in the sweet obsession of you
I'm going to swim and drown in the wake of you



The thirst is taking over
I wanna taste it
I need to taste it
Deep in the Saviors arms


I wanna drink you in
I am drinking you in
I wanna drink you in

Hardly breathe, I'm in urgent need
You know the thirst is taking over
The thirst is taking over

I wanna taste it
I need to taste it
Deep in the Saviors arms

Skillet- The thirst is taking over